simple life

Today I realized I like simple.

happy! =)

I have an ongoing list of things that I enjoy, that make me happy:

– Tearing down a tough double black mountain on my snowboard, and making it through perfectly (Blue Mountain’s Elevator Shaft run on an icey day, I’m looking at you!) with no stumbles or flails

– Spending a day snowboarding (lining up through the singles line) with nothing but me, the mountain and my music

– Hitting the gym after a long hiatus, and feeling that sweet sweat and pain

– Sharing a joke with my parents, everyone laughing

– Driving on the 401 late at night with nothing but the empty road, the wind, and AVB’s A State of Trance podcast harmonies filtering through the car – simplicity defined

– The ending of a 5 hour hike

– Crossing the finish line of the Tough Mudder

– Hitting up an AYCE sushi place with friends after an amazing work-out or run (that spicy salmon sushi doe!)

– Bro-talk with the boys after a night out

– When my friend’s cat sits on my lap, willingly

– Those pharmacy study sessions with the boys, late at night, struggling through the material together (extra-articular features of rheumatoid arthritis, no way we need to know that…)

– Watching old cartoons and shows together with my brother; playing through and beating co-op video games together (Borderlands!)

The list goes on and on, but what I realized tonight while doing #5 (the drive back to London) was that what makes me happy really are the simple things. Things that make me happy, really happy, tend to be random moments with people, or days spent snowboarding.

cats and snowboarding: my favorite things juxtaposed together.

For me, I’ve realized the big ceremonies, the large parties, the busy busy life filled with important events and gatherings are nice, great even. But sometimes I feel it’s too much.

I’ve always kind of felt that way subconsciously, but this is probably one of the big drives as to why I am always adamant about expanding further, working and living beyond the GTA. Having lived in downtown Toronto for a co-op, I can definitely attest that it is, indeed, awesome. I felt like I was living the life, hopping around downtown Toronto and hitting up cool establishments and eating good food. I was a busy guy, always with something to do or see or eat, because truth be told, downtown Toronto is a hub with lots to explore. But the times that made me really happy wasn’t the eventful days I had while living downtown; it was the small things, like going for a run around Toronto while listening to Zedd. I guess that’s when I realized the downtown life wasn’t for me.

Obviously my experiences are moulded by the fact that I spent my high-school years in downtown Toronto, and then the formative years of my university career at McGill, which is smack-dab in downtown Montreal. In a way, it can be likened to the immune system creating antibodies after exposure to an antigen – perhaps my early and consistent exposure to the downtown life made me resistant to it.

dat post-exposure antibody development doe

I can definitely see the appeal of staying and living and working in the GTA – for sure. I just realized it isn’t for me.

Today’s blog wasn’t anything earth-shattering or revelation of particular insights – just a random blog from a random mind.

Maybe PEBC studying is making me crazy? lol.

Music Mondays!

Holy cow I love this song. The combination of vocals and chillstep, with that drop and those trance overtones in the middle. Repeat for DAYS.

pz out for now.

lately I’ve been I’ve been losing sleep

Recently, I was asked about some of my personal interests, and I mentioned that I was a blogger. After giving them the URL to this blog, the interviewer immediately asked – how often do you update? I told them the truth – it really depends on whenever something strikes my fancy. If something interests me or happens in my life and I want to blog about it, then that’s when I blog. Fortunately, I had blogged very recently (2 weeks ago?) so if the interviewers ever decided to visit my blog (which I highly doubt they will), then at least they would be treated to a fresh corner of Victor’s mind.

pictured: victor's mind.

pictured: victor’s mind – cluttered mess as always.

Lately, I’ve been I’ve been feeling rather unmotivated and lethargic – complacent is the word. And so this blog is going to be about complacency.

I need to frame this and put it where I can see it everyday when I wake up.

I need to frame this and put it where I can see it everyday when I wake up.

Complacency is my worst enemy.

It’s that feeling of ‘good enough’, of being comfortable, of losing ambition and fire. It’s defined as staying in the comfort zone. And complacency is so dangerous – not just in my academic life, but also in relationships, my experiences, heck the way I approach life.

I know I’ve definitely been complacent with regards to my academic life lately.

I remember I used to be so fired up about trying to know EVERYTHING; even things that I could look up, I would want that knowledge to be in my brain and on the tip of my tongue, ready to be recalled at a moment’s notice.

Every co-op, I would review previous IPFC notes and make Anki flash cards out of them, and then review those flash cards whenever I had a spare moment.

Yeah I'd say I was a bit of a keener

Yeah I’d say I could be a bit of a keener at times

Then something happened.

I got complacent.

I was pretty happy with my current knowledge base (even though it is anything but broad), and secure knowing that anything I didn’t know, I knew where to easily look it up (UpToDate, you are my bible).

UpToDate: Waterloo, y u no hav UpToDate???

(Props to SY for being my UpToDate supplier!!!)

I must say, this co-op has been my laziest yet.

# of IPFCs reviewed: 0

# of Anki decks created: 0

# of Anki decks reviewed: 3/7

Complacency: 100%.

Funny thing is that I actually seem to be doing pretty well on co-op, making therapeutic interventions left and right. And that only further feeds my complacency – the illusion that I am alright where I am right now. Clearly, this whole academic complacency thing needs to change, and fast.

Complacency is so dangerous because it is so insidious – sneaking up on you and keeping you stuck in your comfort zone. I hope writing my thoughts down here in this post will motivate me to break free of my academic complacency in the upcoming term.

Escaping is just the beginning

Escaping is just the beginning

Complacency isn’t only apparent in academics – but also in relationships too.

How many times have you seen a relationship that just seems so stale and listless :(?

Of course, a relationship doesn’t always have to be passion and fire 24/7, but I’m sure you know of some relationships that just seem like there’s nothing going on. At that point, it seems like one or both parties are hanging on just for the sake of hanging on; because it’s already been such a long relationship, it’s easy to go for familiarity and comfort even though it’s stagnant and complacent.

Complacency can also occur in the way we approach new experiences too. In fact, any time we are able to just stand still and bask in what we’ve achieved, in what’s comfortable, that’s when we stop growing. 

This is no time to dwell on how far you’ve come. 

“Luck is the last dying wish for those who believe winning can happen by accident. Sweat, on the other hand, is for those who know it’s a choice.”

This is so tremendously inspirational – I think I might just download it and save it on my laptop lol. 

Old, but I’m not that old // young, but I’m not that bold. 

Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars.

pz out for now.

the other endings

Well clearly I am long overdue for a blog post.

It’s actually funny because what I’m blogging about today is something I’ve referenced to a while back, and I thought I had gotten it completely out of my system (I swear I did!). But seeing the whole situation happen elsewhere and seeing it end differently can really can make a man think, and so I have to put them down on paper.

Definitely one I could frame

Definitely one I could frame

So for those who know, I’ve been doing a few interviews lately. It’s been an interesting experience, kind of fun but also pretty stressful. One of their favourite questions seems to be: “What is your greatest weakness”.

Girls with attitude. Clearly my one weakness.

Girls with attitude. Clearly my one weakness.

Such a loaded question.

Truthfully, I know my greatest weakness is overconfidence. But I never say that in an interview because it seriously sounds so cliche.

It's funny but I have actually used this exact same image in a past blog to denote my greatest weakness as overconfidence -_-

It’s funny but I have actually used this exact same image in a past blog to denote my greatest weakness as overconfidence -_-

Well, looks like years later, my greatest weakness is still my greatest weakness. Maybe someday I’ll learn…

This time, I just wanted to reflect on a situation where I seriously thought I was doing the right thing, thought I was so clever and had thought out all the possible scenarios and decided upon the best one. I had even talked it over with a very close friend, just to get an outside perspective.

I find that while I am bad at many things, one thing I’m good at is rationalizing things, whether it is to convince myself or other people. So between the two of us feeding off each other, I was ever so convinced I was doing THE RIGHT THING.

my problem isn't a hesitance to do the right thing, but my perception of what the right thing IS.

my problem isn’t a hesitance to do the right thing, but my perception of what the right thing IS.

What ended up happening here was I had overlooked one possible outcome – because in my mind, it was so astronomically unlikely and actually could be perceived as somewhat morally ambiguous IN MY OPINION. And so I completely discounted that scenario and went ahead with my planned course of action.

And I was content with me. I mean, obviously it wasn’t a happy ending or anything, but I perfectly executed what I set out to do so I couldn’t be anything but pleased.

PLEASED CAT IS PLEASEDDDD

PLEASED CAT IS PLEASEDDDD

Then I got the unique experience of seeing my whole situation occur to someone else. Obviously there were differences, but more parallels could be drawn than differences. As an observer, it was much easier to be objective, and yet in assessing the situation, I felt that the right thing for that person in that situation was to react like I had.

Fortunately he didn’t. And the situation, which started off so similarly to mine, ended up resolving so differently than mine (much better!).

And then I came to a realization – that I am far from omniscient and that my overconfidence is actually keeping me from maintaining the openest mind that I can. I rationalize my actions well, which ends up causing me to discount things, ultimately making me miss out on important possibilities.

ALL DEM FEEEEEEELS

ALL DEM FEEEEEEELS

So here’s to keeping an open mind.

Here’s to a year from now, I can blog about my greatest weakness and NOT use that same image.

May the bridges I burn light my way.

pz out for now

random thoughts

Hay guys so it’s been a busy week, albeit a super fun one (it always is when you’re learning and practicing important shit instead of learning about crap like all the different types of tablet machines) – I’m talking about patient counselling of course. Coolest thing ever. Makes school fun and relevant.

what a cute cat

Anyways, mandatory-excuse-for-not-updating aside :P, just wanted to say I have no particular focus for this post. So here are some awesome pictures I’ve accumulated over the past month or so:

being a more empathetic person means seeing between the lines

One thing I noticed about patient counselling is how important it is to form a true, sincere bond with your patient – one could only imagine the degree of empathy and just general people skills a GOOD (notice the emphasis on good since shitty ones exist too) healthcare practitioner must have. Really puts into perspective how unimportant academic prowess is in the grand scheme of things – meaningful life experiences and people skills go so much further.

I can only hope that I can internalize this and then shift my thinking towards maximizing it. Plus, studying sucks anyways :P.

fuck it, just fuck it

Shifting gears, I just wanted to address last time’s post. I wanted to cater to my readers by making the post shorter, but really the post ended up less complete, less impactful, and just shitty overall. I also didn’t manage to get all the thoughts I wanted to out on paper, and so felt a bit unsatisfied after writing it.

So consider the experiment failed, and I’m definitely going back to my old way of writing. Because when you try to cater to everyone, you just might end up failing yourself.

failblog

Now, here’s another picture I wanted to share. It’s about commitment to a path despite uncertainty:

truthhh

Straight up, one of the worst things to see is when someone makes a decision…, and then dillys back and forth over it. Man the fuck up. Take your time, weigh out all the information you DO know, and then make your decision. Once you’ve made a decision, commit to it. Don’t switch paths – because in success, there is no compromise.

This is definitely one philosophy I want to adhere more to.

I had more pictures, but the OCP presentation on insurance just ended, so maybe next time!

pz out for now!

never look back

Failing so hard is always painful. LOL. Truer words have never been said eh?

fail fail choo choo

Whenever we fail at something (whether it’s something academic, something social, something related to love, something physical, etc…) it is always surprising, never fun, but best of all – always a learning experience. We may fail – but more importantly, we learn how to not fail like that again.

I once heard an awesome quote:

“Why do we fall?

So that we can pick ourselves up again.”

awww yeah batman

Now it’s always fine and dandy to quote playboy millionaires-turned-vigilantes, but how about actually living it? It’s easy to quote and to say “oh after failing, get back up and get back into it”; but really, how do we actually go about doing this?

time for some next level oprah motivational shiz

First off, I think it’s important to always keep that failure at the forefront of your mind. I’m NOT saying to dwell on it so extensively that you drive yourself to the Dark Side. What I AM saying is to use it as motivation.

why be good when you can be so, so bad 😛

It’s all too easy to, after having failed something, then make a strong resolution. But a resolution is nothing if you don’t execute it.

Especially when after a good night’s sleep or a nice day’s outing, you just forget about it or kick it to the back of your mind. No. That’s not how it works – that’s not gonna improve you.

LOL

Use it. Keep it in the forefront of your mind, and when you find your motivation flagging/dying, relive the fail and let it power you through.

music mondays – sweet remix of big bang’s somebody to love!

pz out for now!