worth your while

“Some people come into our lives and then leave, ephemerally. Some stay for a while, and leave footprints on our hearts. But either way, we are never, ever the same again”

When talking about friendships and relationships, this has never held more truth. I’ve had friends come and go, whether it was undergrad badminton friends where the only thing we shared was varsity badminton, or going-out friends that only ever called me up to go out. Or it could be the relationship you had that lasted 5 years and was getting stale near the end, or the one that only lasted a month but was one of the best times you’ve ever shared with someone.

People come and go, but too often we attribute their impact on us based on how long we’ve known them. Today, I want to say it isn’t about that. Today, I want to say it’s about the quality of the experiences we had.

Granted, statistically it does make sense that the longer you know someone and interact with them, the higher your chances of having the kind of experiences (not just the Special Sundays, but also the Boring Wednesdays) that add to your sense of self and teach you about life.

But all too often, we attribute quality purely based on quantity – how long you’ve known each other.

I know some friends that I have known half my life, but are acquaintances, whereas some people I have only known for a short amount of time comparatively, but can call life-long friends.

Likewise, I’ve known of relationships that lasted years and were as stale as they come, and some that lasted months and were some of the most fulfilling and learning experiences.

Of course, this is not to say that long relationships can’t be fulfilling and learning (and statistically speaking, as mentioned before, they should be the ones most likely to be fulfilling and learning); I’m saying don’t discount the short stuff.

who your sig other should be for you

shown: your significant other

Someone once told me: just because it’s over doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while. And I agree completely.

Regardless of if it’s a friendship that ended all too soon because of geographical reasons, or a relationship that didn’t pan out because of timing issues, just because it’s over doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth what you invested into it.

Because regardless of how long or short it was, your lives intersected for some length of time, and you gained/learned/LIVED. And we are never, ever the same again.

Definitely one I could frame

Definitely one I could frame

Tune of the week: the new ‘Falling Back’ by Cosmic Gate and Eric Lumiere.

Lyrics, the beat, the drop, the singing. Perfection. I’ve definitely repeated it enough that I know most of the lyrics LOL.

this one’s a dedication – to you – you all know who you are.

pz out for now.

lately I’ve been I’ve been losing sleep

Recently, I was asked about some of my personal interests, and I mentioned that I was a blogger. After giving them the URL to this blog, the interviewer immediately asked – how often do you update? I told them the truth – it really depends on whenever something strikes my fancy. If something interests me or happens in my life and I want to blog about it, then that’s when I blog. Fortunately, I had blogged very recently (2 weeks ago?) so if the interviewers ever decided to visit my blog (which I highly doubt they will), then at least they would be treated to a fresh corner of Victor’s mind.

pictured: victor's mind.

pictured: victor’s mind – cluttered mess as always.

Lately, I’ve been I’ve been feeling rather unmotivated and lethargic – complacent is the word. And so this blog is going to be about complacency.

I need to frame this and put it where I can see it everyday when I wake up.

I need to frame this and put it where I can see it everyday when I wake up.

Complacency is my worst enemy.

It’s that feeling of ‘good enough’, of being comfortable, of losing ambition and fire. It’s defined as staying in the comfort zone. And complacency is so dangerous – not just in my academic life, but also in relationships, my experiences, heck the way I approach life.

I know I’ve definitely been complacent with regards to my academic life lately.

I remember I used to be so fired up about trying to know EVERYTHING; even things that I could look up, I would want that knowledge to be in my brain and on the tip of my tongue, ready to be recalled at a moment’s notice.

Every co-op, I would review previous IPFC notes and make Anki flash cards out of them, and then review those flash cards whenever I had a spare moment.

Yeah I'd say I was a bit of a keener

Yeah I’d say I could be a bit of a keener at times

Then something happened.

I got complacent.

I was pretty happy with my current knowledge base (even though it is anything but broad), and secure knowing that anything I didn’t know, I knew where to easily look it up (UpToDate, you are my bible).

UpToDate: Waterloo, y u no hav UpToDate???

(Props to SY for being my UpToDate supplier!!!)

I must say, this co-op has been my laziest yet.

# of IPFCs reviewed: 0

# of Anki decks created: 0

# of Anki decks reviewed: 3/7

Complacency: 100%.

Funny thing is that I actually seem to be doing pretty well on co-op, making therapeutic interventions left and right. And that only further feeds my complacency – the illusion that I am alright where I am right now. Clearly, this whole academic complacency thing needs to change, and fast.

Complacency is so dangerous because it is so insidious – sneaking up on you and keeping you stuck in your comfort zone. I hope writing my thoughts down here in this post will motivate me to break free of my academic complacency in the upcoming term.

Escaping is just the beginning

Escaping is just the beginning

Complacency isn’t only apparent in academics – but also in relationships too.

How many times have you seen a relationship that just seems so stale and listless :(?

Of course, a relationship doesn’t always have to be passion and fire 24/7, but I’m sure you know of some relationships that just seem like there’s nothing going on. At that point, it seems like one or both parties are hanging on just for the sake of hanging on; because it’s already been such a long relationship, it’s easy to go for familiarity and comfort even though it’s stagnant and complacent.

Complacency can also occur in the way we approach new experiences too. In fact, any time we are able to just stand still and bask in what we’ve achieved, in what’s comfortable, that’s when we stop growing. 

This is no time to dwell on how far you’ve come. 

“Luck is the last dying wish for those who believe winning can happen by accident. Sweat, on the other hand, is for those who know it’s a choice.”

This is so tremendously inspirational – I think I might just download it and save it on my laptop lol. 

Old, but I’m not that old // young, but I’m not that bold. 

Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars.

pz out for now.